Before reading this letter, please read the following: The Problem with Báyọ̀, The Problem with Mama Morónfólú, and The Problem with Morónfólú.
Dear Mummy,
I am writing this letter to you with a heavy heart because too much has transpired since our last conversation. Indeed, this is a new low in our relationship. Until a year ago, I tried to call you often, at least once a week. Now, I don’t even have your contact number; our only form of communication is these letters.
After reading your last letter, I was in tears because you painted me out to be a bad daughter. I almost felt sorry for you because you know how to make yourself look like a saint. However, you have made it difficult even to maintain a relationship with you.
For years, I stayed silent while you called me fat, ugly, lazy and barren. You even claimed that my husband would leave me one day because I didn’t want to bear him children.
The truth is, I had to spend months in therapy working out why I was worried about bringing up a child. I later discovered that the reason I had a fear of bringing up a child was because I was afraid that I wouldn’t know how to be a good mother, and that is down to the way you have treated me since I was a child.
Our last conversation caused me so much stress. In addition, I had just suffered a personal loss, and I was dealing with that. On the back of that, I was not in the right headspace, and then I found out that I was pregnant.
So yes, I disconnected from you for a while. I wanted to have a peaceful pregnancy, and that meant I had to avoid any negativity from you.
That said, you raised a valid point when you said that you are the only parent I have left. Dad was the only one who understood me, and he tried to bring us together many times, but we haven’t been able to get along since his passing. This truly saddens me.
However, as you are my mother, I still have love for you. I also want you to know I didn’t want you to learn about the birth of your grandchild over social media. Despite your shortcomings, you didn’t deserve that.
The truth is, I want us to sort out our relationship by setting some boundaries. Therefore, when we meet again, I request we stick to safe topics such as the weather or funny videos. If we can do this successfully, we can finally start setting a good example for the next generation of our family.
With Love
Your daughter
Ibs Writes 
This is very sad but relatable. I also have a complicated relationship with my mother and some of her words have caused me immense pain and haunted me for years. Growing up has however shown me that she genuinely meant no malice. She was young, and it was her first time of being a parent as well. Knowing this doesn’t automatically erase the hurt but it gives me better perspective and grace for her.
I understand both Moronfulu and her mother. Her mother was also probably repeating words and actions she received as a young girl. Even though they’re fictional people, I hope they are able to heal their relationship.
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Thanks for your comment and for sharing your own experience with this. Unfortunately the story is based on the realities that I have witnessed in my community. I also understand both sides and for anyone who is going through this with their mother I hope they are able to work it out.
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