Women are the main culprits; we fat-shame each other
I am writing this article with a heavy heart. I am sick of the fat-shaming that women do to each other. It’s been going on for years, and in 2021 it’s still a thing.
Teenage years
I remember growing up as a teenager. I was a big-boned girl (still am). I was fat-shamed by people in my inner circle. The worst thing was that it was always coming from those closest to me. It was awful.
When I became an adult, I started to shed the baby weight. Then, the pandemic hit, and I didn’t move around as much. So the weight has piled on again.
Nowadays, I feel like the same teenage girl who was not confident in her own body. All over again. But now, as an adult, I will not stand for anyone to fat shame me. I am going through losing weight, and it will take a while. First, however, I need to learn to be confident in my current state even if I am 10 pounds heavier than I want to be.
The fat-shaming culture
Unfortunately, as women, we tend to pit ourselves against each other. It’s wrong and needs to stop. I have had many sessions with my friends, and we have talked about the people who have been fat-shaming us left, right and centre. It’s never pleasant.
When I was a teenager, the adult women in my inner circle pointed out that ‘I needed to lose a few pounds. It was not a nice thing to hear.
There are many ways to deal with an overweight child, and simply telling them that they are ‘fat and need to lose a few pounds’ does more harm than good. Practical ways of losing weight include eating a balanced diet and making exercise fun. I started incorporating these things into my daily activities when I became an adult.
Have you been fat-shamed?
So maybe, like me, you have put on a few pounds. You might have had to abandon some old clothes because they no longer fit.
Perhaps you have fat-shamed yourself by declaring to your friends that you are ‘fat’ simply because you don’t want them to point it out first.
So to all the fat-shaming aunties and uncles and so-called well meaners, I leave you with this quote:
When you judge a woman by her appearance, it doesn’t define her, it defines you.
Steve Maraboli
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾Well said – I’d say the same about skinny-shaming too
I completely agree.
Hi Ibukun, I am so sorry about how you feel and how some well-meaners have shamed you.
I may not know what it feels like to be body-shamed but I have had a fair share of feeling unworthy.
However, one thing I have come to realise is this: the only person who has the right to define me is the One who created me l, and as He rightly said, I am wonderfully made. The opinion of men does not matter. I know who I am. My body frame and figure do not define me. I am a beautiful soul in a perfect body. You may want to declare these affirmations and always deploy positivity when you feel threatened by the negative opinions of others.
You are truly beautiful. Stay healthy but don’t be required to fit into what others define as body positivity. God loves you the way you are.
Thanks for that. Yes, the opinion of others does not matter – only what God thinks of me and we are all wonderfully and uniquely made.