Poem: Dear Fear

crop lady with pen and notebook on bed at home
Dear Fear – Free verse in audio
Dear Fear, 

Here you are again,
doing your gbam! gbam!
against my chest. 

You won't,
allow me to sleep,
since Sade took that
summer job, 
she has been coming
home late every night. 

This is what
has emboldened you,
to rear your ugly 
head yet again 
this very night. 

I know
that she is a,
big 19 year old,
but I still worry,
when things are
happening everyday. 
I mean look, 
we live smack, 
in the middle,
of the chaos 
that is London.

Is this the better life I left Nigeria for? 
To worry myself,
into an early grave. 
God forbid! 

We hear the news,
of girls going missing,
even getting attacked.  

I called and called,
and Sade's phone,
is switched off. 
Why will Sade do like this now? 
Why can't she pick her phone when I call? 
 
If Sade were a boy, 
I would not be, 
as worried as this. 

Ah, 
but even then,
teenage boys
are also getting killed. 
Ah this life eh, 
there is always something 
to worry about. 

Sade should be, 
taking a cab at least,
at this time of the night.
Maybe I should,
drive around, 
and start,
looking for her. 

Ah Ah but sometimes, 
I wish I could,
go back to the,
simpler days, 
before you became, 
a constant part 
of my nightly routine. 

And funny enough, 
you only intensified 
when Sade grew up
and I had to,
let her go. 

This parenting thing,
is not easy o!
It gets even worse,
the older she gets. 

The truth is,
I will always see her,
as my little girl, 
even though,
she has a mind,
of her own,
and thinks,
she can, 
parent me.  

She is forever,
telling me, 
about the things,
I am doing wrong,
and sometimes its hard to admit
that she is right. 

Ah thank God, 
I just heard the
front door open.

She's now home. 
But see how, 
she is stamping,
her way through the house,
without consideration that, 
I may be asleep. 

So why are you,
still here, 
thudding hard,
against my worn out chest,
let me sleep now!
I have an early shift. 

Poem summary

This poem was written from the viewpoint of a Nigerian mother who worries about her 19-year old daughter.  It deals with a number of themes, including parental fears about letting go, anxiety caused by listening to the news all the time, and so much more.

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